J.S. Frankel’s description:
Sam Aushumness, sixteen, orphan and high school outcast, meets his long-lost aunt at his parents’ funeral—or the woman he thinks is his aunt. It turns out that she isn’t his aunt, isn’t from around here, and isn’t even from this galaxy.
It seems the person masquerading as his aunt is a refugee from a faraway world, and she’s being pursued by a small band of mercenaries who have been hired to bring her back dead or alive—preferably dead.
Secrets have to be kept, and only Sam and his girlfriend, Kym Kim, know who Aunty Aushumness—nickname Aunty Awesomesauce—really is.
However, the secret soon gets out, and soon the mercenaries, the police, and every branch of the government are on the hunt to find Aunty Awesomesauce, what she knows, and what secrets she carries.
Aunty A, though, isn’t one to back down from a fight, and when push comes to shove, the mercenaries find out how bad she can be.
Pick up your copy! The Incredible Aunty Awesome sauce, by J.S. Frankel, Kindle Edition
Travis Borne’s review:
Okay, every once in a while a story comes along—and it blows the top of my head off in spasmodic successions! Jesse is a virtuoso, a locuting lassoer of language, to just my favorite flavor. He’s the ace of vocabulary delight for vocabulary lover’s just like myself. In this cool, fast-paced, just-what’s-needed-and-nothing-more adventure, his mot, mot, mot juste articulation rang the winning bell. The Incredible Aunty Awesomesauce is a fabulously fantastic and fun tale besprinkled with just the perfect mix of raining lexemes—and NOT pretentious jibber-jabber like the aforementioned jargon hodgepodge bombast I just barfed.
It’s perfect. Unlike my overblown flowery disaster. Ahem.
To put it simple…
This story is just right. Ah…the rhythmic flow, a one-after-another crescendo of tension, then relax, more tension, more relaxation—then BOOM!
I LOVED THIS STORY!
Jesse’s words cascaded and soared in fluid excellence and I felt as though I was sitting on a cloud while ingesting his fiction—one where the bottom could drop out at any moment (that dang low pressure—or was it the Crocs?).
Every base, every sense, everything accounted for. Because, you know how some tales fight your brain to get inside, and make you have to really try, and you plod forward chapter after laborious chapter—well not with Aunty A, and Sam and Kym—and those ‘stinky’ others. Here, you’ll embark on one of the coolest, most hilarious, smooooooth and sweeeeeeping adventures. The author excelled at taking me there.
But how? Why? What happens? Well, as usual I won’t spoil it, but here’s a brief rundown…
Aunty “Aushumness” arrives after a terrible tragedy and takes it upon herself to help a young sixteen-year-old boy, a sixteen-year-old boy who undoubtedly needs the help, and a guardian. And she is undoubtedly something else. Look up. Yep, way up. She’s not from around…here. And she has arrived just in time. To train, to enlighten, to save in the most indirect ways possible—if she can help it—and to love. Now cue the humor. And things begin to occur, then snowball. The Incredible Aunty Awesomesauce is a roller coaster of ups and downs from start to finish, and “Morpheus is fightin’ Neo!” But this ain’t The Matrix, no way, it’s ten degrees deeper, a dive into heart and soul. Sam is fighting’…!
I ain’t gonna tell ya!
Sorry, I don’t want to spoil it further. But if you just looooaaaathe bullies and love a good dose of schadenfreude from time to time, when those greasy a-hole bullies get their just desserts, well, you’ve found the right story. This one’s for you.
And if you like aliens, special powers, daring escapes, millisecond close-calls, other worlds and other, weird and stinky creatures, who can’t just leave a good skinny dude and his plump girlfriend alone, then here’s your next read. Don’t pass on this title!
The author is a master at painting vivid, colorful pictures—and ONE star for that. The author, J.S. Frankel, is clever at assaulting the sense of smell, to rattle, jolt, and elicit a few ‘holy yucks!’ And a SECOND star for exactly that. And a THIRD for his fascinating vocabulary, and the fluid, adroit, unequaled deployment of it. And that’s three…. THREE MEGA-BRIGHT ONES!
I really loved this story! Did I already say that?
A FOURTH star for humor and buckets of laughs, without overdoing it. And a FIFTH and final supernova, blowing up right now and still, because I just finished this story only one hour ago—and it’s still blowing the top of my head off—a FIFTH star for the cool factor, the bully gets his, deserved kicks to the you-know-whats, and ultimately a lesson that tops the story off like a warm, glossy, and very special cherry that’s just too special too eat: secrets explode like spring flowers, and sacrifice, love, selflessness. How I love ____ endings!