The Magic Vodka Wardrobe, Book 1, by author Sheila Patel, Kindle edition
Sheila Patel’s description:
“The best books are those in which the characters come alive before your eyes” ~Telegraph & Argos
‘I’ve never read a story quite like this… but it was such fun I consumed it in one sitting. As we are introduced to the well observed, larger than life characters I felt I was watching a very British sit-com. We have Bradford, a corner shop, wacky characters, shopping at Primani, a knickerless caravan dweller, dozens of shoes and plenty of booze’ Amazon Review
A corner shop, a lottery machine and a bamboo bike …
Shaz and Trace balance spreadsheets by day, but by night drink vodka and dance with their crazy Aunt Sheila in the magical wardrobe.
As the country is hit with Brexit fever… mother has her bags packed in case she gets deported whilst gossiping with the likes of Tattoo Tony, Mad Mush Martha and Dammit Janet.
Shaz is doing her best to avoid the creepy centre-parted Rajeev and his pet goat. However, her sister Trace is drawn to the charms of the lovely Channing Chopra who is from the posh end of town.
A short story of drinking and dancing while the strange barman Bachittar watches on… tutting …
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Travis Borne’s review:
About two chapters into reading this, I stopped. I put it down. I went to my closet, got inside, shut the door, then banged on the back wall. Dang it, do I ever want my very own Magic Vodka Wardrobe! The only change, perhaps… I’d make mine a tequila one!
After finishing several serious science-fiction novels, I needed a break from the downer of a drone-war apocalypse or two. I needed a drink, too, strong stuff. So, on the prowl I went. I searched Twitter for a lighthearted and easygoing, amusing, possibly even zany, fiasco of a story that’d pop the top of my head off. You know, something no-holds-barred on the anything’s-possible, wild and crazy factor. You know, to escape the humdrum last-person-on-Earth, science-fiction stuff, of which I read gobs. Something to light my brain of fire. Something like that. And I found it. And did I ever strike gold! Glimmering GOLD, and silver and prismatic iridescence, raining down as little squares of coruscating light—from the DISCO BALL!
Inside the wardrobe, though?
Yep!
No…
DOUBLE YEP! YES!
As ridiculous as my review might sound so far, it’s the required attitude for this book. Throw serious Stan out the window, boot your old lady or old man in the keester, because it really is no holds barred…
So, there’s… what? There’s something’s happening over there. There’s a misty glow coming from, yep—the wardrobe! So… you decide. Decide to go for it! Do it. Step over the pile of Primark shoes and cheap China handbags from eBay, and let the devine disco light slap you upside your astonished effin’ face! (The humor in this book is cleaner than my review).
Your new cozy place. Kick it with friends, albeit weird ones…
Take your seat at the bar. Join Shaz and Trace and Aunt Sheila for a voddy (vodka) or two or ten. Get sore feet from dancin’ too much. And play the lottery. Life will never be the same, and British comedy has a new limelight: scintillating, musical, chilled the bleep out and fruity—mad!
Just roll with it, but easy… Have fun, relax. And laugh your kicked keester off!
Snoop Dog guard dogs and the lottery machine… Bachittar the Sikh bartender, Magic Mike and Tattoo Tony, even Donny, that Osmond-brother dude. And handmade pointy brassieres, like Madonna’s, while dancing like Madonna, En Vogue. And dancing into the wee-morning hours… Sore ankles, but what a night it was! Come and visit the closet every night… Chill out or party hardy. Party with a goat called Gurjit, a Rottweiler named Nobhead! Jam to songs like Downtown, Gladys Knight’s Midnight Train, Abba’s Dancing Queen and even, YMCA…
Imagine…
Imagine the fun, the insanity. This book is short but has loads of fun. Gobs! A blast of fast-paced, entertainment if there ever was such a thing—and way zanier than this review. Throw your serious side into the wind, let it come back to smack some other dude in the face for a change. Because you are going in. Brexit’s gonna get ya, or not. And Bachittar—or Donny—awaits. Your voddy is being poured and your favorite song is always playing.
I give this one FIVE for FUN. I only wish it was longer, but there are more books in the series! Five stars and I’m ready for more with the next. But maybe, after a few more end-of-the-worlds, some dystopian sci-fi pandemonium, consciousness mumbo-jumbo from the genres I generally, usually read. Yep, after more of that finishes its frying of my brain—I’ll surely be back for more. This’ll be my fix! Fantastically fun, outrageous, ludicrously British and bedazzling. What a story, from the magnificent, comedic and clever mind of author Sheila Patel. Great whale of a tale!
Those disco lights…
I think… I think I’m gonna need a minute.
